validation

I was beginning to feel like all my posts were major debbie-downers, but today the cycle breaks!

It's been a rough transition for me from college to adult life, but I'm finally starting to see the beauty of where God has brought me. Our connection group recently started studying a book called "Radical" by David Platt. If you haven't read it and you're a believer in Christ, do it. Do it now. Because it will change your life, and, quite literally, radically change the way you look at your faith (or lack thereof). I say that, and I'm only two chapters into the book. Whoa. Moving on...Since before we began the book, I've struggled with understanding my place and my, I guess, function within the will of my God. "What was I doing? What about a career? What about my future? What about this? What about that?" I've been wanting so desperately to understand why I'm "just a housewife" and not the grand musician or artist I thought I would be years ago. I've wrestled with the way the world tells me that I'm not a real, strong woman if I don't have a career and work really hard, when the Bible tells me to be content with what I have and where I'm at in life. I've been angry with God for not giving me more that would make me happy; make me feel satisfied. But I knew that that was not what I needed. I didn't need work or to make a paycheck or just bust out some babies to make myself feel worthwhile and fulfilled. I knew, deep, deep in my heart and soul, that none of that was going to make me happy, or give me a spirit of continual joy, because only God can do that. Only Jesus can fill that void in our lives; the void that demands to be spiritually filled.So when I prayed (which honestly that is still a work in progress), I would pray, "God, help me to know that my worth, my validation, my fulfillment is in You, and nothing else." Over and over I've been praying that and speaking that truth to myself. Normally, I feel like I fall flat when it comes to speaking truth to myself, but there is power in speaking holy truth to a hurting soul. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Then repeat some more.Last week, God spoke.I follow several blogs from God-fearing, beautiful women who are constantly doing the will of God by teaching Biblical truth to thousands of women via the internet. Yes God, You use the internet! They encourage women in how to be Biblical women as wives, mothers, sisters, and friends. Here are the words that penetrated so deeply.


"Dear Heavenly Father,Thank you for creating me. Thank you for my personality, my physical features, my voice, and my heart. I struggle with being thankful for who you created me to be, and for that I am sorry. Please help me to find my worthiness in you. I pray that I would be confident in your love for me. I pray that you would be my validation and my comfort. I pray that I would be entirely fulfilled by you and you alone! For you are my God and I love you! In Jesus name AMEN!" - from Unveiled Wife, 7/22/13 Daily Prayer


"Somebody said that there’s this restlessness among the next generation of women, that they fear more than anything – wasting their lives. I’ve felt that before. Feelings can last for years but they can lie and change your forever. So, look — There’s no fear: You aren’t wasting your life when you’ve poured out for eternity — wherever you are. There’s no fear: You are doing something great with your life – when you’re doing all the small things with His Great love. There’s no fear: You aren’t wasting your life – when you aren’t wasting opportunities to love like Christ." - Ann Voskamp via The Better Mom

"...the gospel does not prompt you to mere reflection; the gospel requires a response... We will discover that our meaning is found in community and our life is found in giving ourselves for the sake of others in the church, among the lost, and among the poor. We will evaluate where true security and safety are found in this world, and in the end we will determine not to waste our lives on anything but uncompromising, unconditional abandonment to a gracious, loving Savior..." from Chapter 1 of Radical by David Platt

All these things I read within a week, and I remember that after reading each one, my heart felt a sense of joy it had not known in quite some time. And I was at peace... I know who I am now. I know where my validation lies. I still have to repeat this to myself continuously, and it is still my prayer, but now I know that I am not wasting my life, as long as I belong to Christ and as long as I serve Him wherever I am, however I can. I'm looking forward to the next year. I've been having dreams, and I'm sensing that the Lord is going to bring something our way. Something great. Something glorious. I have no doubt that I'll still struggle and crawl because I can be so frail, but I am no longer looking for validation. I have found it in my God. I must hold onto it.

"Beautiful Things" - Gungor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR7VOKQ0xJY