Confession. I hate the word "compatible."
Where did this idea of compatibility come from and why is it so seemingly important in the world today? It's as silly to me as the idea of soul mates and prince charming. I'm sorry, but there's just no such thing Cinderelly.
Let's talk about this though. For real. The idea of compatibility promises something unachievable. "If you find that one, perfectly compatible person and date/marry them, all will be well." But it's not true, and it simply can't be. There is no "one" person. And certainly there is no perfect person either (come on wives, can I hear an amen? Hehe, just kidding, just kidding!).
The truth is that those of us who are married could have married someone else, and still have a loving, lasting, fulfilling marriage. It would definitely look completely different, and we would do different things, talk about different things, and argue about different things. But just because it was someone else doesn't mean the marriage is doomed to fail. Those of you who are still dating could start seeing someone else and still have a decent, positive relationship. And the world wouldn't end! Love would still be very much alive!
The point of relationships is not just to make us happy or give us what we want (like butterflies and kisses). The point of relationships is to teach us, change us, help us grow, and encourage us to become more and more like Jesus every day. In a way, they're there to expose our selfishness, and bring it under control. I remember my old dental hygienist telling me, "You get married, and you realize how selfish you are. Then you have kids, and you realize how selfish you still are!"
In marriage, we bind ourselves to this person that we care deeply for and pledge our love, life, and body to them. Let's face it. Sometimes we're not exactly compatible. He likes soda and she likes tea. He likes anime and she likes romantic comedies. He likes the toilet paper under, she likes it over. "Good Lord! There's too many differences! We must not be compatible!" No, my friend, you're simply different, because you're simply human. If you were exactly alike, I'd say either you're robots, or someone is lying. A lot.
I know my husband and I probably would have never been thought of as "compatible." We are completely different! But the beauty of my husband's flaws (and mine), is that we learn to work together. We take our personalities and we throw them into this big pot called LIFE that's filled with things like conflict and finances and children and beliefs and upbringing and mannerisms and all sorts of crazy human antics. And if we don't watch it, it can burn and boil over and cause a big mess, not just for us, but for everyone close to us. But if we learn to balance the recipe, keep it at a simmer, and stir occasionally, we create something beautiful, enjoyable, consistent, and encouraging to others. And ultimately, we make way for God to do amazing things through us and our marriage.
If you're dating, and thinking you have to find someone "compatible," just stop. There isn't a perfect man or woman out there for you. But there are people. Lots of people. Good people. Many of them are people that you would say, "I kinda like this person," after a couple conversations, but they also probably won't be the last. Don't be so quick to right someone off as "not compatible" simply because you're from different backgrounds or have separate interests, or even because you don't find them overly attractive right off the bat. Some of the best relationships come from unlikely friendships. Little did I know my marriage started in high school. I only saw my husband in the morning at the cafeteria tables, and occasionally at soccer, and we hardly talked. Now, he's my best friend, and I'm always glad I said "yes" to him.
