three years

Three years ago today, I married my best friend; the most wonderful man I've ever known. Only a few patches of ice survived that day as they hid from the much welcomed, warm temperatures in the shadowed corners of the Dallas Arboretum. There, in the smallest garden, my husband and I made promises to love each other through every circumstance as we served God, and we exchanged rings as the symbol of an unending commitment to uphold those vows.

Now, on the day of our three-year anniversary, I find myself reflecting on all that has happened in our married years. I feel as if I've known Jason forever, and that surely we must have been married more than three years. But on the other hand, I still feel as if it's been a short time, and our wedding was just yesterday. Time is such a funny thing, and such an abstract concept. I wonder if this is how I'll feel about time in Heaven; forever long, and yet it feels like it just started.

I wouldn't say that our years together have been as eventful as a storybook, but then again I've found that real adult life simply is not as exciting as fairy tales and great lore of old. That doesn't make daily life any less meaningful or deprive it of its purpose though. The events of our life together have been realistic, whole, and formed by the flowing movement of God's hand at work. I know that neither of us have any doubt about the power of God, and we know first-hand what His constant and faithful provision looks like. We have seen it in the smallest of circumstances. Sweetly enough, our first three years together are only the tip of the iceberg. There is much to look forward to.

I am always incredibly thankful that God placed Jason in my life to be my companion. I have known some pretty swell, Jesus-loving guys over the years, but few ever seemed a preferential choice for dating. Looking back at my high school and college years, I know that God protected me during the times of sin that might have laid waste to my ability to love my husband as I do now. I know that God kept me out of unnecessary relationships as well. I never dated for the sake of dating, and though a young man might have been a suitable partner, somehow he just wasn't in my mind. I thank God for the moments of clarity that I simply heard and said, "He is not for me," and walked away without an inkling of feeling for him again. I firmly believe the Spirit was at work in me before I ever fully understood Him. Oh, how jealously loved I am by God and husband.

I think the most vital traits that communicate our love for each other and form our marriage are these two things:

1.We are not afraid to challenge or correct each other. Jason will always call me out when my response to broken cell phones, people's failings, or a simple mood swing is anger, frustration, or bitterness. He unveils my naked sin, and challenges me to display a Christ-like attitude. In the same way, I remind him of the promises of God and what is required of the Christ-following life. To be honest, this has been a growing point for me, as I have always avoided conflict. But conflict grows us, and our ability to navigate it makes us stronger and binds us tighter. And though we often are put off by each other's words, we are always thankful for them later.

2. We put each other's needs first. I consider myself spoiled sometimes at the generosity my husband displays towards me. If I were secretly a manipulative and selfish woman, I might have the capability to bleed him dry with gifts and acts of love. Love is a doing word, and Jason acts out his love for me in his efforts to secure my happiness. Sometimes this is in the basic bacon-winning for us by working so hard at his job, or in the way he buys me daisies because they're my favorite, or in the surrender of another soda so that I can have popcorn at the movies. If you know my husband, you know that is a big deal. My husband proves to me on a regular basis that my happiness and contentment are of great importance to him, and he will do anything to have it. In the same way, I seek this for him and offer up small things - like playing silly video games or listening to his technical jargon - to show him I will do anything for him.

Love is a practiced thing, and we must practice often.

So thank you Jason. Thank you for loving me, and for challenging me. Thank you for holding me when I cried so bitterly, and for making me laugh until I couldn't breathe. Thank you for letting me change your mind about things, and for changing mine about others. Thank you for your sacrifices. Thank you for being charming and playful, and for allowing me to make all my weird noises and dance like a fool (and reminding me not to do it in public). Thank you for long hours in the cold fixing vehicles, treats I didn't need, and pushing me when I felt I could run no more. Thank you for doing life with me. And thank You, God, that I have such a wonderful husband. Help me to be a wonderful wife.