something small, something sweet

This post should be short, but no promises. I know myself too well.

The other day I was feeling a bit nauseated and icky (this seems to happen so often, I don't know what's wrong with me), and my husband made the joke that I was pregnant. I told him, "Don't joke," and gave a nervous laugh.
And then he said something that shocked me. Something I didn't expect to hear from my husband, who I've known for nearly six years now, who gets nervous with children.
"Why not? That would be a wonderful thing."
I couldn't even respond. I sat quietly with a smirk on my face and continued eating the amazing bread I baked.
Then a couple days later, I was in the bathroom (it seems like my best thoughts come out of this bathroom now), and thought of something interesting and new.
There is something so sweet, and so subtle, and so sincere and gentle that happens when a man and woman marry, that you hardly notice the changes - except in the way he looks at you when you wake up in the morning together or the way he holds you even more gently, yet firmly, than ever. God begins to bend your hearts in places you didn't know existed in your characters, and you find yourselves wanting things you once were so fearful of (maybe not immediately, but eventually).
My husband is becoming less and less (for lack of a better word) fearful of the thought of children. That's what his statement tells me. And when God chooses to bless us, we will probably be a little scared, but I know without a doubt now that we'll be overjoyed beyond anything else.
There's a sweet security and a sweet, gentle affirmation of everything that grows when you're married. To keep that growing and firm takes trusting the Lord with all you've got and laying down your pride and vanity for something greater. His knots are lovely and grow stronger over time if we will remain steadfast and hopeful.
I don't think I described my thoughts exactly, but hopefully it got through somehow.

P.S. - Here's that amazing bread recipe! http://www.joythebaker.com/blog/2011/03/cinnamon-sugar-pull-apart-bread/ Her blog is wonderful!